Free Flow (unedited and incomplete)

It's broken down, and all I see is me, but I can't be what I want to be, so I'm just going to have to be free. Raise the mast, sail to the sea, everything I ever wanted, and you're nothing I ever want to be.

So I'll go down to the shore, skip a rock, cast my reel, catch a fish, reel it in, but nothing could ever be as real as what I saw in you.

Yes, I know your brain is broken. It's not a joke; I feel for you. I'll have love for you, but I'll never ever want to see inside of you, 'cause what you are is not what I want me to be. I can live a life, but you'll live a lie, never wanting to be free, contained. Trust me, I don't want you to die. I want you to live. I want you to breathe. I want your heart to flourish truth and honesty.

It's not enough for my wants and wishes. What you did was never the dishes you dished out, but you never received. From the serving spoon to my mouth is all you would feed. I would never be free living in the constraints of your life, living in the constraints of your lives, living in the horror of your hell that you created, that you bred, that you kept alive.

So no one here will ever think that what happened wasn't the truth, but what you always needed was the proof; proof of love, proof of life that could never be, a proof of yourself to improve upon what could not be improved. Your mental state, your mental life, your mental health, synapses run deep. What doesn't run deep as your love, what doesn't run deep is the love, the move to shove, the move to grow. Everything that we are is something you will never know, a sick mind buried under the weight of your sin.

We are people; you're a monster, you're an animal, you're seen, but what you will do is come in and destroy a scene we find serene. But whatever you want to call it, that's just mean, it's cruel, it's callous, and it's unkind; 'cause all you're stuck with at the end of the day is your mind. It's broken, it's battered, it's bruised and belittled. But what you don't understand is that you're confused.

It isn't as much as I see for the truth. What I see for you is darkness and doom. I don't know, maybe it's me, maybe it's just a gloom, but when I look at you all I see is a room empty in the void of furniture and life. Stillness, quietness, be gone, be damned for everything that has ever been tried regardless of what you want. My heart has now died.

But is code blue resuscitate a survivor in this room? I am truly alive. I lay in a bed that's a long gone cold; a corpse, of hoping, of dreams, and of a future unspoken. But what you don't get and what you won't realize is you were standing there on the day that you died. Not that you died in the physical sense but mentally the snap is what you are about, but it's not. Candidly, it's cruelty in malice and hate.

Peace is a lie.

Pieces will die.

But a part of the place that once stood of stone is gone for good. A brittle bone, an ocean, a wave, a tumbling cloud come down like the sun is thunder. It's loud, it's raining, it's pouring, but this old man isn't snoring. It doesn't matter what you think 'cause what you are is just a blink in the eye of a man who's now moving forward, leaving you behind with all that he has, with all that he had, with all that he will have, with what he will be, with what he will see without you. He is totally free, free from the pain, and free from the lies, free from abuse, and free of your strife.

You attacked, and you fought, and at the end of the day, I still lost. But what hurts the most is the feeling of hate that comes from your lips. At the end of the night, you were cruel and unkind from your own lips words were spoken. Everything that is here because of you is broken, but it doesn't really matter. You won't see your cat, but what you don't get is that it's not all about that. What you will never ever have is about what you never ever were. You were never true, you were never honest, you were never right. You lied and distorted the truth from everyone you saw; it was diffused behind a bomb, and behind the blast is where I stood.

So fuck around and find out, that's what they all say. But today is the day that I have to go far away, far away from the feeling of your adulterous tone. You didn't just fuck him, you fucked me, you fucked us, so in that, I say fuck you. This isn't coming from anger, or from any dark place, but what it's coming from is my safe space. You said you knew who I thought you were through my poetry and pictures, but what you never posed for was the peace. Smile.